Everyone feels down on themselves from time to time. The heavy, nagging feeling that you may not be as successful as others or that you just don’t have what it takes to do or achieve what you truly desire belongs to our human nature.
There are three limiting beliefs that we all share as earthlings at one point or another that affect our feelings of self-esteem. Being not good enough, being not worthy enough and being not smart enough.Which belief resonates most with you? Can you think of who or what might influence you to swallow this opinion of yourself?
All three beliefs are not only depressing but they often cause us to feel demotivated, scared and immobilized right? So what would it take for you to shake off any feelings of unworthiness? Winning the lottery? Getting a job? Losing weight? Receiving recognition from family and colleagues? Meeting your soul mate? There is no doubt that attaining our personal dreams can lead us to feel elated. However, have you ever considered why some people have it all and still feel extremely unworthy and miserable?
According to Martin Seligman, father of positive psychology, it turns out that inflated compliments and easily achieved goals only give you a fleeting sense of worthiness. Whereas authentic and unshakable self-esteem stems from engaging, applying and validating your efforts, actions, strengths and virtues on the often rocky and thorny road you may be traveling on.
Some of these “doing” actions and virtues include: self-mastery, persistence, overcoming frustration and boredom, mustering courage to get up from failure and meeting challenges head on.
If you have ever flexed any of these “muscles” mentioned above, please do take the time to pat yourself on the back. You’ve earned it. Reward yourself. If you’re completely demotivated to do anything at the moment, consider taking just a small action towards your goal and ultimately your real self-worth.
Maybe you’ve failed an exam and are ready to simply revisit the books again. Perhaps setting a date for that important call you have been avoiding to make is all you can do. For others still, the first step might be just getting off the couch.
In any case, action is better than inaction and doing well will eventually leave you with a lasting sense of inner worth. As Arthur Ashe said: “Success is a journey not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.”